Watch this video(MOBILE, Ala.) February 18 -- He is touted as a New York Times best selling author, a philanthropist, a motivator...but just who is J.L. King?
For years, deep beneath the surface of the very accomplished person lay a more complicated man. "I have a lot of friends who are, who grew up bisexual, who really want to tell their women, tell their friends, tell their family that they are living a double life", says King.
King says he lived that double life. He was a devoted husband, father and church going man who secretly slept with men...a term most commonly referred to as being "On the Down Low". Shrouded in secrecy and shame, this formerly married man admits he had liasons with men...until one day his world came crashing down.
King says his wife busted him. He knew he had to come clean. Today King is no longer married. He decided to rise up from the Down Low and tell the masses about his story. his message to men... "If you're having unprotected sex with men you meet on line, at church, at the mall or at the gym, the least you can do is make sure your protect yourself."
King, who says he was fortunate not to have contracted AIDS or HIV, says being caught served as a wake up call. He decided to write a book about life "On the Down Low". King says he did not want to see his daughter become a victim.
The choice came with a price. King says he has actually received death threats from speaking out. "I did not want to create fear. I wanted to create awareness. I didn't want to cause a breakdown in relationships."
King wants to inform women, because he says men are leading secret lives everywhere....even right here in the Gulf Coast. King says many women are paying the price for men's secret lives, especially African American women, who are now the new face of AIDS and HIV.
Black women make up seventy two percent of all new cases nationwide. Franklin Primary Healthcare worker Teloria Crenshaw says many of the infected women she sees were infected by partners engaging in risky behavior.
King says his goal is not to expose men On the Down Low. He says his mission is to get African-American men On the DL to take an honest look at their behavior and ask the right questions. King says, if a man On the Down Low is too afraid to tell his partner, he should at least act responsibly and use protection.
It is not just a black male phenomenon, Down Low behavior crosses all racial lines. But, King says it is not as accepted for African-American men who are on the down low to come out. So, why is it so hard for black men to be honest about their sexuality? King says society and the black church often put a lot of pressure on them to conform.
He says many black churches attach shame to being gay or bisexual. But, one Mobile pastor says the church can not be blamed. Pastor Jeffery Rainey says, "We are available, we are accessible to those persons who would approach us and inform us. Otherwise we cannot possibly know who you are at home, in the street."
The pastor says the church would not turn away the person, but would condemn the practice. King says that attitude could cause more harm than good. "Until they take ownership of this disease, most churches will continue to have more funerals than weddings", says King.
The reality is staring Mobile County in the face. Health workers say there are currently 2,333 people living with AIDS and HIV. An additional 1800 to 3,000 more are unaware they have the disease.
Cynthia Boykin is a Consumer Advocate in the fight against aids. She contracted the deadly disease from her partner. She says she is sure her partner was heterosexual. But, it was only after he passed, she found out he died from AIDS.
She says women should not rely on their partners being honest. "If you ask your mate, are you gay or bisexual, how many times will they say, Yes? Please. So, the responsibility lies on us to protect ourselves no matter who we're being sexual with", says Boykin.
Health workers say, until men On the Down low feel free to come out, women should play it straight using condoms and taking extreme precaution. Franklin Primary Healthcare workers are going out in the community and educating young African American women about protection and preventing the spread of AIDS and HIV. They say all AIDS and HIV tests are free.
